What Do You Want to Be?

When I was young, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up.

In Kindergarten, my heart was set on being a ballerina. My mom convinced me I had the perfect body for it. As long as I was a ballerina who was an author, as well. A talented, literate dancer.

In 1st grade, I wanted to be a baker. I convinced my friends at the lunch table that I was a Cookie Monster and I needed to sample their cookies so I knew what the best ones in the world were. I wanted to make my cookies better than the best ones.

In 2nd grade, I wanted to be a nun. I was sure that the only choices a woman had was to be a nun or to be a mommy. I was scared about giving birth so I opted for the sisterhood.

In 3rd grade, I told my math teacher, Mr. K., that I wanted to be like him. He was very good at multiplication.

In 4th grade, I thought I could sing. So I sang very loudly in church. The old women in front of our family's pew turned around often to look at me. One even told me that I was a very interesting singer. I took that as the highest praise.

In 5th grade, I knew I loved poetry. I wanted to sing out to the world through words dancing on paper, inspiring the uninspired. I joined Poetry Club. It was my identity.

In 6th grade,I began to run consistently. So, of course, I wanted to be a marathoner and win many gold medals throughout my running career.

In 7th grade, I wanted to be a businesswoman. I had no idea what that meant really, other than that I could make a bit of money and I could do pretty much anything I wanted. That idea stuck with me.

In 8th grade, I discovered fire fighting. Yes, fire fighting. I went to a day camp where I could hold the hose, and climb into a "burning" van, and repel off of a 3 story building, and ride up the ladder in the bucket.

I still dreamt of fire fighting into high school. It was a dream of mine that stuck around longer than the others.

Now, I am a runner. I am a poet. I am a creative-minded soul who sings even though she cannot, bakes from the box, and will always love cookies. I went to business school and realized that most of those that are successful there lose the sparkle of life along the way.

Who knows what I'll be when I grow up. Right now, I am Barb. Or Babs. Or Barbara. I am ME and I know I am going to grow into exactly who I want to be.